First I was overwhelmed and had no time. Then there was time but I needed it for rest. Then too much time had gone by and I didn’t know how to restart. Then I just felt plain guilty.
Today I’m putting it all behind and simply writing some words. I strive to one day come close to achieving what I believe to be the Queen’s motto – “Don’t complain and don’t explain”, but today will be yet another when I fall short, a long way short!
I have in mind that I must have wasted January although I cannot recall it at all. In early February my elderly mother fell on the footpath outside her neighbours house. Luckily it wasn’t long before someone spotted her and helped. She was taken to hospital and a fractured right wrist seemed a wonderful escape when we looked at her purple and black face and neck.
My mother has a profound faith in God and it is hard not to believe when you look at all the good that comes out of the bad in her life. Fractured right wrist on a right handed lady. She would not be able to look after herself at home and my home is not suitable. God smiled and she was accepted at the local private hospital and they agreed to keep her until the cast came off.
I was relieved, so relieved. But not for long. Mum lived in a small community 35 km (22 mi) from me; nice and close, but not quite close enough for daily visits. So I would see her once a week, but if my weekend was full, it would be once a fortnight. Now she was in a hospital a 5 minute drive from me and I visited every day. It didn’t take long for my relief to turn to horror when I saw how unwell she was and how frequently. I realised she could not go home, she could not live alone anymore.
She’d been in hospital about a month and I was starting to wonder how I would ever tell her that she needed to move into a nursing home. She talked about how she would be fine back home. I went home that night feeling truly gutted. I would have to tell her. The next day she told me she had decided she would not go home but move into a nursing home! It is my guess that when she listened to what she was saying she also heard that it was not possible, or at least not wise.
We began the process of getting approval for a nursing home place and finding a good one. Again my mothers faith was answered and the day she got her cast off she moved into a wonderful facility and into a warm and sunny room she now thinks of as her home.
But my roller coaster ride of emotions was not over. I had to pack up her home, work out what she would take with her and what to do with the rest. So many memories.
That is the short version of why I haven’t written a post in such a long time. I feel like I’ve let you down, but I also feel like I have done the opposite for the people in my life here. I hope you will understand. I originally wanted to keep personal life out of this blog, but art and life are inseparable.
This is a sketch I made way back in 2006 on my Mum’s birthday.